When Yoda died near the end of Star Wars 2 or 3, he uttered the immortal words "Dying easy, comedy haaaarrrrd." He proved this in the very next scene by coming back from the dead then not saying anything funny. We haven't died yet, but we agree with Yoda that it doesn't look very difficult. Sometimes someone will come up to one of us and say something that's supposed to impress us like "My father died last night." One of us will usually say "Oh he's so great" as sarcastically as possible. Then the other one of us will add "You know, dying was already getting kind of weak back when my great-great-great-grandmother did it," which reminds one of us to say, "while she was riding a dinosaur."
Yoda's also correct when he says that comedy is hard. But it's not hard enough. For instance, snowboarding is hard. However, all it took to make regular snowboarding look kind of stupid was for one person to snowboard out of plane. With that in mind, we decided to leapfrog to the next level of humor by accepting an impossible challenge: basing an entire week of updates on a piece of graffiti Erik found in a men's room on the Indiana turnpike.
This turned out to be a mistake, like taking archery to the next level by aiming the arrow at your eye. Although it's a great piece of men's room graffiti and would make an awesome catch phrase for pretty much anybody, we couldn't think of a whole lot to say about it. I thought it would be funny if we misinterpreted the words and pretended to think that bitches were safe from Chicago Ted, while Sean liked to pretend he was talking to Chicago Ted and say, "Hey, Ted. Your message might reach more bitches if you wrote it somewhere other than the boy's bathroom." After experiments proved that neither of those were such hot ideas, Sean noticed that the towel dispenser was manufactured by a company called "Assured". "Big deal," I said. Then he covered up the letters "ured" with his hand. "hahahahahahaha," I said to buy time until I figured out what he was laughing about. I switched to "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" when I realized that he had somehow scaled Mount Comedy equipped with nothing but the word "Assured." Still, "Ass" only gave us three days of updates.
Sean thought we should focus on how the middle part of the toilet seat covers are never all the way punched out and I suggested adding the words "What's up with that!?"
It was at that point that we gave up, set the difficulty down a notch, and attempted to make an entire comic book series using nothing but images cut from this caricature we commissioned to commemorate the first of what we expect will be an infinite number of anniversaries of us becoming Best Friends 4-Ever (left).
When it became evident that this was also going to be impossible, we made a single choose-your-own-adventure comic strip based mostly on the caricature. ENJOY!
Begin Your Adventure Here, Adventure Choosers!
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