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February 11th, 1999 - One More Way Jesse the Body Could Kick Your AssA spokesman for Jesse Ventura recently announced that the governor has been granted a permit to carry a concealed weapon. In a recent interview, Ventura denied the charges saying, "These are all the guns I need, bitch!" He then kissed his huge biceps and proceeded to give reporters atomic drops. Other governors have followed Jesse's example, and are also getting weapons permits. However, the other politicians have decided not to conceal their firearms. Governor of new state Louisabama, Phoomie Goonie, explained, "Jesus. If Jesse needs a handgun, we must need bazookas and assault rifles and shit." He then rearmed the anti-aircraft guns on his humvee and shot down a low flying flock of bald eagles. |
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