After years of publicly acceptable 26-cock-demon porn and streetside dirty panties vending machines, Japan has finally judged itself sexually mature enough for birth control pills.

The pills will be named "Luckbug Baby Pow!" and are expected to go through some technological advancements before being transported overseas. They actually will not start as pills, but as tiny brightly colored eggs. These eggs will be attached to a keychain/control unit and must be cared for, played with, and cleaned up after for a number of weeks before finally emerging as a functional birth control pill.

One spokesman predicts the pill will fail, citing how Japan's previous birth control, "incredibly tiny uninviting penises," was working just fine.