Remember when that gay bashing site used my picture for their insane hate site? That happened to Shan too. Only instead of hate, it was lust. Some crazy sneeze fetishists stole her picture for sneeze-wank material. It's already weird that Shan's pals are taking pictures of her while she's sneezing, but it's really scary when people are getting turned on by it. I guess if you're going to get off on someone sneezing, she should look good. I just think that when she has pictures of herself belly dancing and in little workout outfits on her website, the last thing you should be excited about is a picture where it looks like someone's kicking her in the stomach.

Shan plays with Reader Babe, Witch Hazel sometimes. In fact, Hazel took the nude picture of Shan to the right. Don't email them asking for pictures of them making out, though. I already tried. Lots of times. You'll just have to be happy with the sneeze porn, Internet psychos.

My journey to becoming a sex goddess has been a long one. From my humble beginnings as a Bible-thumping Jehovah's Witness kid, I have made huge advances. I went from being a fashion model, to a nude figure model, to a bellydancer, to a sneeze fetish icon, and now, to a Seanbaby Reader Babe.

It is with great pride that I take my place on this website, alongside such esteemable company as James H. Vipond, Miguel Roya, Witch Hazel (my pre-op transsexual lawyer buddy), and Pamela Lee giving her erstwhile hubby a greasy-haired blowjob.

Here is a quickie bio, to get people masturbating wildly....

Name: The ShanMonster

Occupation: Sneeze queen, bellydancer, gamer geek, and industrial DJ

Talents: Can balance D4s on one point, a spoon on my nose, dance wildly with a broomstick on my head, and can stand on one foot without wobbling

Turnons: Chickens, bizarre Dutch porn, dancing pigeons

Turnoffs: Liver, cocoanut, decapitation

Favourite medieval torture device: Heretic's fork


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