Lex Luthor was a smart man. He knew he had to counter Apache Chief's slow monotone voice and growing ability if he was ever going to conquer the universe. Also, when you were a villain in a cartoon, eventually one of your plans would get stopped unless you could beat the Super Globetrotters in an intergalactic basketball game. But that's not why he hired Giganta. Luthor just thought it'd be cool to see pair of panties big enough to live in.
NOW DIG THIS: these are Giganta's inevitable basketball opponents for the fate of the galaxy - The Super Globetrotters.
From left to right: Multi Man, Sphere Man, Gizmo Man, Spaghetti Man, and Fluid Man. You might think being 100 feet tall could give her an advantage in the game, but Fluid Man can turn into water, and you wouldn't believe the things Gizmo Man can pull out of his afro. It makes Batman's Utility Belt look like a cracker jack box.
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I don't know where Lex Luthor found her that damn outfit. A leopard skirt with matching bra and ankle weights? Where did he shop for that? I'm pretty sure adult stores have snipers to take care of any creepy bald guys in purple jumpsuits that wander through the Full Figured Woman's Exotic Nightwear section to see how well the outfits go with yellow aerobic weights. Not only that, he had to find the lingerie that can stretch from a size 12 to size
three-stories. I say fire Brainiac and Grodd. The real miracle workers on the Legion of Doom are Giganta's personal shoppers.
She had the same problem as Apache Chief. And I think anyone who's been underneath them during a super fight knows what I'm talking about. What does it take to get it into these growing people's heads that if your crotch is a couple stories over everyone's head, you shouldn't be wearing a damn skirt. I'm not saying they have to wear big baggy pants, but at least something that connects over the crotch. A diaper would be fine. Anything that doesn't flip up to your chin when the wind picks up.
SUPER RATING: 3
It seems like she might have been able to beat Apache Chief if the Legion of Doom hadn't kept her at home washing windows and getting Black Manta's football off the roof. Not only did she have bigger muscles than Apache, but she could grow without screaming out embarrassing nonsense.
Giganta was probably the manliest person on the show. Even if you look past everyone's girly tights, she had bigger shoulders, a deeper voice, and a thicker moustache than anyone else. If she(?) was lip synching Madonna, I'd swear it was a drag queen. Or at least my great aunt after she forgets to take her estrogen.
