Effectiveness: 7/10 This ad has got to be the ultimate fantasy of every monkey mask owner. Here's how reality works: Monkey Mask: "Hoo hoo hoo!!!" Lady: "AIIIIIEEEEE!!!! Oh my God, take anything you want and go!" Monkey Mask: "mmmh noh rrbbing yhh!!!" Lady: "What?" Monkey Mask: "I SAID: I'm not robbing you! This is a monkey shine, I think! Now please laugh; this mask cost $2.95! That's like 250 dollars to the people in the future reading this ad!" Lady: "Mmmm, anyone who invests that kind of money in monkey shines certainly must know how to please a woman. Take me!" Sheer Terror of Monkey Shinery: 9/10 If you grab a woman from behind in one of these things, I think she's in her legal rights to kill you and stab your corpse until it arrives at the morgue.