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Super Pitfall. This still stands as probably the grossest misuse of the word "Super" in the history of the English language. This version of Pitfall barely qualifies as a game. You play the part of a Pitfall Harry in a miner's hat the color of the Bible Adventures cartridge trying to save your lion and neice from deadly fruit bats and toads. But anyone related to Pitfall Harry isn't worth saving, and the only reason anyone would keep playing is to hope to find a more painful way to make the little guy die. You'll find yourself saying that spikes and water are too good for him. He deserves some sort of acid bath/sandpaper combination. Unfortunately, you'll never find anything satisfyingly painful enough, and you should save the trouble and not play this damn thing. If you accidentally put the game into your NES, just turn off the power, remove the cartridge, and smash Super Pitfall with a hammer.
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Evil fish and boring ladders.
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Graphics: 0 |
If you don't get suicidally bored from the gameplay, you might from the graphics.
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Fun: 0 |
The game itself is a waste of time, but if you take the shattered remains
of the Super Pitfall cartridge, you could combine
them with some dried macaroni and have a fun arts and crafts party. "*Giggle!* I made a duck
out of my Super Pitfall! Quackarific!" |
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Desecration of a Classic: 9 |
Pitfall isn't that clever a name to begin with, so I don't know why Super Pitfall
decided to name itself after a game it has nothing in common with and can't possibly
compare to.
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