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January 16th, 2001--Here are the Winners! Click to see the greatest contributors to the Adoracubby coloring cause-- four pieces of art doing their part to get all the lovable creature parts out of your McNuggets. January 8th, 2001-- The Adoracubby Coloring Contest is officially closed, and the ladies will be making their adorable decisions over the next few days. The winners will be announced at the end of the week, and the losers will all be cut apart and used as organ replacements for people with a more promising future. Click to view any of the 44 finalists at full size, press your face against screen to view them at super size, or turn off your monitor to view them as if they were ninjas. |
It took an article about people eating severed heads to wake the world up to the plight of the almost-endangered Bowtied Duckfoot Adoracubbies. Right now, the several dozen remaining Adoracubbies are being ground up to make paste for use in grinding up other animals. But there's still a chance that you can save them. By drawing a portrait or comic adventure of these adorably dying creatures, you can raise awareness.
Normally raising awareness gets you nothing. Red ribbons still haven't cured AIDS and it looks like Black Awareness Month is never going to bring Redd Fox back to life. But raising Adoracubby awareness is different. The portraits and comics will be proudly displayed on the popular website Seanbaby.com, and that means YOU GET TO BE ON THE INTERNET. In addition to that, the best entry will win assorted prizes including...
Issue #1 of Mr. T and the T-Force, SIGNED AND NUMBERED BY MR. T!!!If you're somehow still not convinced to rescue an Adoracubby with your drawing, there is one final thing you'll get out of this contest: girls. It's true. Girls love things that are cute, and the Adoracubbies were engineered by Darwin and Lex Luthor to be as cute as biologically possible. Perhaps... even cuter. Adoracubbies get you more tail than a puppy and a bag of cocaine combined. That's why you should ignore your homework or your job for a night and get coloring. Because your drawing of an Adoracubby is going to get you laid a lot faster than your math problems or your mop. You should note that the men of Portal of Evil don't know anything about cute. We make jokes about eating babies and link to sites where people slowly beat animals to death to get them to taste better. So the judges for the contest will not be me, Mark, Erik, and Chet, but our girlfriends. 
Adoracubby Biology:In their natural coat of bowtie and top hat, they are always ready for a party. Their duckfeet grant them the ability to wear duck-shaped shoes, and their rainbow tummies squeak when you poke them. Little else is known about them. Do their wings work? Is the top hat just a hat, or is their head actually part hat? Can they bite through a child? These are the mysteries it's up to you to solve in your comic adventures! The Adoracubby's likeness and genetic structure are copyright Seanbaby.com, and can only be used for the forces of good or getting ass. |