Seanbaby Guestbook - Website Discussion

From: Chris Shumway

Age: this many (holds up 23 fingers)
22-Nov-99 10:15 PM

Seanbaby, your site is truly special. I don't dare imagine what you will accomplish when you eventually blossom into a fine Seanman.

I must say I dislike your redesign of "Fat Chicks In Party Hats", however. The zany fonts and flashy design may work for you, but I think it detracts from Miguel's nuggets of wisdom. I guess I prefer Miguel live instead of the overproduced studio version.

Anyhow, thanks for something or other.

P.S. How much is my still-bagged collection of Mr. T and the T-Force comics worth?

Seeing a homeless street performer is something you'll forget, but when someone dresses up the same hobo in an Elvis cape and gives him a televised Christmas special, that's something that's life changingly special. So I think the redesign of Fat Chicks in Party Hats was a good thing, and didn't hurt any of Miguel's genius. I just made it easier to find it all.

From: Bubblun

Age: 19

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Hangar/6521
27-Jun-99 11:14 PM

Ah, my fat chick in party hat safari is complete. I have given Miquel the pictures I took and they are on display for all to see. I hope it pleases you as well as everyone else, because trust me, a wild fat chick in a party hat is a rare breed indeed, one that can become evasive if a camera is present. If my contract negotiations work out correctly, I will have my PBS special of rare footage aired in early Autumn. For now, if you will, please give me more nonsensical quotes from obscure Taito arcade games (as you have so graciously done before).

From: Deos

Age: 14

Homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/ab/LLDeos/
04-Jul-99 07:42 PM

Wow, your webpage's awesome man. It's pretty kewl to find out people out there still have creative minds and will make a good freakin site. Keep up the great work on this site Seanbaby, it's gonna be big. Also, i'd like to let u know that that scary kid on the others page is in my head 24/7...i cannot get that image out of my head. What the hell is that pic from anyway? Later.
<=-DeOs-=>

This picture is courtesy of Tarzan vs. Predator at the Earth's Core.

From: Donka

Age: 15

Homepage: http://uradumbphuckinass.com
26-Jul-99 08:45 PM

Hey man. Great site. funniest shit i ever seen. if i had some stupid ass award id give it to you. but i dont. do you care anyway? i didnt think so. all that crap from the eightys really does bring back the memories. the ones i dont want to remember included. stay cool

You're 15 years old. What were your memories of the eighties? Graham crackers, naps, and burpings?

From: Nothing important.
04-Aug-99 10:21 PM

The Seanbaby guestbook reminds me of a grotesque menagerie populated with desperate losers and incredibly bored christians. Half the people here seem to think Seanbaby is a personal acquaintance of theirs, and the other half, while free of this delusion, spend their time trying to impress him into *being* a personal acquaintance with half-assed comedy and obscure references to his webpage.

And what the hell is up with you folks and "A Winner Is You"? I mean, yeah, it was funny the first time, when Seanbaby made his jokes about it on the NES page, but now you see it in every other fan comic (some of which are cool, by the way), and Guestbook entry.

Also, those games are horrible! Alienboy didn't even put "Joyce" in for the princess, and the Megaman game could have been dripping with Seanbaby innuendo. Like hostess cupcakes instead of powerups, and replaced the badguys with Aquaman, the Christian-With-The-Afro, and other people Seanbaby regularly ridicules.

Before I get ritualistically slaughtered by Seanbaby's uber-wit, all I have to say is that I am *not* sorry for posting this entry. The Guestbook entries are really stale. You fans would do well to emulate the man who you all seem to adore, and a) exercise your creativity and b) get a damn life.

That's all. I'm ready to be cut apart now. (Unless I'm only to get one of those completely-off-the-topic pictures/fat chick sex positions for a reply.)

From: Some Random Guy

Homepage: http://eday.shutdown.com
06-Aug-99 08:37 PM

To "nothing important" (whom I would have emailed personally if he had provided one). How did you expect me to both make my game drip with Seanbaby innuendo AND get a life?

You have to allow a little bit of hypocrisy sometimes. And if you don't, at least pay attention to the part that helps you. For example - you shouldn't take a suggestion to get a life so seriously when it comes from a long essay you found on the internet.

From: Clay

Age: 22
08-Aug-99 09:59 PM

I thought you should know. On the 13th entry of your "20 worst NES games" page (a review of M.U.S.C.L.E.) there's a graphic of a stocky blue guy with red hair. Stare closely at the blue guy while slowly shaking your head back n' forth in disgust and the little blue guy shakes his fat head right back at you. Eerie.
Note: I swear I'm not currently under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

I don't see anything strange about it.

From: LiquidNasty

Age: 20

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Nova/5001/
20-Aug-99 10:20 PM

A thought came to me when I was reading the guestbook. How does it feel to have a healthy chunk of your readers constantly pushing to emulate and impress you? Most of us end up making complete asses of ourselves. You must be a legend in your spare time. Another question; Where do you find all of these sites? Of course I'm referring to the ass-backwards web-pages such as "Boffo" and "Go-Gurt! These are my friends!" I'm speechless.

How I feel about people trying to impress or emulate me:
Neither one of them ever seem to work, but both annoy the shit out of me. Other things that annoy me - people sticking their fingers in my ear, people that yell things from cars that I can't understand, fat people that try to eat me.

How I find all the fucked up sites:
The key to finding crazy sites on the internet is putting in exact-phrase searches into Altavista. Things like "I collect thimbles" or "sooooooooooooooo much" always lead to incredibly bad sites. Be careful, though. If you do this wrong you'll end up on sites about pets written in first person.

"Hi, I'm Zip! My mommy doesn't it like it when I make a mess! She wishes I could stop peeing on the carpet and that she could one day find a man that doesn't lie and steal all her money to spend at the STD clinic for rashes he picked up from whores. She loves to hold me and sing me to sleep and Law and Order is her favorite show after Facts of Life."

From: DJ Droppo
13-Sep-99 01:45 PM

Due to the lack of decent updates here, I've had to read other webpages. It was scary at first, but I really feel like I've grown as a person. Since leaving the realm of seanbaby.com, I've developed more confidence, greater self esteem, and a hard, chitonous shell which allows me to curl into a ball and escape my enemies by rolling downhill at high speeds.

Most importantly, though, I've learned the importance of having a good Hell House. Mr. Seanbaby, you may have a cool webpage, a legion of mildly spastic comic-creating fans and a haircut that, with time, will grow back, but if you don't have a Hell House, then you ain't shit.

I have one, and check out the fly dope fresh posse I've attracted!

Sometimes I want - the glamorous life. Sometimes I need - a man's touch. Sometimes I do things that are more fun to me than making strangers laugh on the Internet, so the page has to sit next to my stack of unread comic books. Without love - it ain't much.*

*"Seanbaby" is just a fat guy living in a cyber-cafe, and this is all he does. Don't be fooled by his implied fun lifestyle, the only reason the page didn't get updated is because he broke his cyber-keyboard during cyber-sex.

From: Mourne

Homepage: http://www.teleport.com/~volker/
18-Sep-99 01:40 AM

What the Hell? "Your site is nothing without a Hell House." Sure, if Seanbaby advocated Christianity, you dumb fuck. You people are going to feel like shit when you die and nothing cool happens. Waaah, Jesus is going to save us! Well I never asked the big guy for shit, and that's exactly what he's getting in return.
Please come to my site and correct my blasphemy.
--Mourne

Calm down, genius. Even if you weren't screaming at someone because you were too slow to spot their sarcasm, I'd still rather you left all the angry retorts to me.

From: FairyFaith

Age: 20

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Dorm/3486
10-Sep-99 07:50 PM

Seanbaby,

Lovely page. I, too, was contacted by the Brothers of the Internet. For some reason, sticking 2 huge pentacles on my page and mocking god made them go away. Mystery of mysteries...

FairyFaith

They don't seem very tough. I beat them with some heavy-handed sarcasm and a few naked girls. If they somehow recruit some members with DNA untainted by a single neighborhood's shallow gene-pool, maybe we can Team-Up to start another fight.

	Leo
	18
	Evil Dead Series, and NES
	Dude, your site kicks ass!!! The pages are well done. You make the NES games of the past be seen in a whole new light. The Evil Dead series truly rocks!!! Keep up the good work!!!! River City Ransom ROCKS!!!!!

"I really really tried to like the first Evil Dead movie, but it had the cinematics of a Mexican variety show, the sound quality of a bad porn, and the script of a 7th grade play. Bruce Campbell is cool, but I would have rather watched him read the phone book or something."

From: Oopie The Destroyer

Age: 28
15-Sep-99 08:43 PM

Finally someone who shares my thoughts on the Superfriends. I laughed my ass off for a day and a half after reading this stuff, then I realized how pitifull I am, being 28 and laughing about this shit for a day and a half. Oh well, you have to have a hobby I guess.

I wouldn't say you're pitiful, this thing is supposed to be funny. The people that read my page and cry about it for a day and a half - that's pitiful.

From: Alon

Age: 17

Homepage: http://members.aol.com/vgoths
24-Sep-99 02:40 AM

There seem to be several different types of people who sign Seanbaby's guest book:
1 Alienboy52

2 People who try to impress seanbaby with their substandard wit

3 Those whose comments are filled with statements such as "RoCk oN DoOd!!" or "Kick ass man!"

4 Those who hate Seanbaby

5 That angry anti-gay guy

6 Those who analyze the guest book and think they are better than those who have signed previously

7 Teenage girls

8 People who point out the types of people who sign guestbooks.

But, all I'm gonna say now is a big thank you to Seanbaby for giving me jokes and lines I can steal and use in situations where my own wit fails me, but since this is on the net nobody has heard them before, so I will take undue credit.
Thank you, Seanbaby.
Seanbaby.com is now the official site of Theta Delta Chi. Nobody else has argued with me on the subject, so I have no reason to believe otherwise... Even though I havent raised the subject with them. ever.

1. You people should really stop making fun of Alienboy 52 until he's safely behind bars. And even then, try to end your jokes with, "Ahh, but he's an alright guy." That kid is going to kill a lot of people some day. Don't make his list.

2. You.

3. I do RoCk and Kick ass. These people are very observant.

4. Those are just me trying to make it look like I'm controversial. As far as I know, nobody hates me but James H. Vipond and your lord baby Jesus of Nazarath.

5. He signed it that one time. If you're couting each person as a category, than make sure to include the category, Torrie Wilson, who signed it 6 or 7 months ago and is very hot.

6. You.

7. You.

8. You.
It's an honor to be recognized as the official site of a frat, and I look forward to my website's name being chanted while you make some pledge stand on their head and drink from the warm keg of piss-tasting beer.
I've even composed a short drinking song for the house:

We PISS on the FAT CHICKS
when they're SUCKING ON OUR DICKS
Read SeanBABY.COM
wake up NUDE ON THE LAWN
OOOHHHHHHHHHHH....
DRINK MOTHERFUCKER
DRINK MOTHERFUCKER
DRINK MOTHERFUCKER
DRINK!

From: steve h

Age: 29

Homepage: http://members.tripod.com/photoessays
05-Oct-99 08:26 PM

ok dude...you are a bright young chap...but if miguel is really you in disguise, you are a genius...if it is, fess up... i gotsta know

Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder what it would be like to be Miguel. To see what he sees -- to put a little hat on what he sees.

No, I am not him. He lives in my heart and in my smile, just like he does in all of us, but he speaks his own words -- his own fathat fatty biker truths.

	Jeff Lugar
	26
	SuperFriends Power Ratings
	What a great site! I found this looking for SuperFriends stuff, and luckily discovered all the other great things. So many things keep me laughing all day long, especially some of the things on the obvious racial token heroes and how terrible Marvin and Wendy are. And your comment on The Flash flying made me know I wasn't crazy when even though they showed him flying, I just knew he couldn't fly. Sort of like when Green Lantern was in outer space with a few others, and they cut to the Hall of Justice to show the action being monitored on the big screen, and who was among the group watching the screen... Green Lantern! Like Fat Tony on The Simpsons says, "It's funny because it's true." The Hostess section is great too. It brings back a lot of memories. Thanks for a fantastic site! I still haven't read it all, but I plan too. I'm recommending this to all my friends.

"It wasn't unusual for the writers to lose track of the complicated story lines, or take a few liberties with science, but I was always impressed when they accidentally drew the wrong guy. I guess it would save some time if you were to send Green Lantern to rescue himself."

	Billy
	20
	Links
	What the fuck was that?! I took one look at your new links page and crapped in my pants. I love it so much, I'm going back for seconds.

"I take no responsibility for any aneurisms, bowel movements, or erections as a result of viewing the new links page. I do however claim all responsibility for all acts of violence committed by readers of this: KILL YOUR SCHOOL, BITCH. THEY HATE YOU. QUAKE IS REAL."

From: Cassie

Age: 15
08-Oct-99 07:25 AM

Unlike some of the assholes who have signed this guestbook, I am not doing so to make myself out to be an idiot nor to give SEANBABY a reason to hate me.
I am writing this to let people know that websites like is are rare and that sucks. I've only come across two of its kind. The first, being SEANBABY.COM and the second being THE MISANTHROPIC BITCH. The address for the latter is HTTP://BITCH.SHUTDOWN.COM. I stongly suggest going to this site; its funny, and realistic, and much more worth your time than HAMPSTERDANCE.COM will ever be. To the people reading this: keep in mind that optimism is ignorance. And to SEANBABY (if you're reading this):Thanks for this site.

I think the Bitch is the kind of person that would see someone do something stupid and debate with them about why it was stupid and how they can avoid it in the future. I've given up trying to change people; I'd probably just throw a water balloon at them and say, "Now you're stupid AND wet, fuckhead!" I'm not saying anything as profound as optimism is ignorance, I'm just saying her page is more likely to have fewer pictures of tits. To be honest, I lost myself somewhere around the water balloon analogy thing.

From: d a v e yD

Age: 24
07-Oct-99 09:51 AM

This fuckin' rules!!! i much enjoyed your take on Mega Man, but the most troubling thing about it all was: where did Dr.Wily got enough metal to build 8 trillion robots and hideouts? By the by, the worst nES game of all was Tiger Heli.

You thought the most troubling thing about Mega Man was where Dr. Wily got his building supplies? What are you, an autistic hardware store clerk?

From: Jason

Age: 27
12-Oct-99 04:32 PM

I have to say I visit here way more often when I should. I get a tingling feeling everytime the What's New page is updated. Sad to say I never owned any of the top 20 worst Nintendo games of all time, but I did own the stupid robot and the Zapper (the cool gray one, not the lame red one)

Ahh, the Superfriends. I loved the fact that the narrator always explained what was happening, even though the heroes had just said what they were going to do and it's also happening on screen:

Batman: I'm going to land the BatCopter to take a closer look
(Cut to scene of BatCopter landing)
Narrator: Batman lowers the BatCopter to take a look.

Thanks. I was wondering what Batman was doing with the BatCopter.

I don't know which will be worse, you deleting this post because it is lame, or you leaving it up because it is lame enough to ridicule. I present a third option: Edit it and make me look really stupid. Try creatively removing certain words and letters to make me look like a raving Christian Psycho.

Jason

Every now and then, the narrator on Super Friends exaggerated so much it seemed like he was watching a different show. While Wonder Woman walks slowly up to her invisible jet, he'll be screaming, "Wonder Woman races to her incredible invisible plane she can control TELEPATHICALLY at incredible speed!!!"

And he'd forget to stop using the super adjectives when he was talking about Aqua Man. When Aqua Man jams a turtle into a hole in a dam, there's no reason to shout, "The swift and brave Aqua Man uses his AMAZING power to communicate with the sea creatures to plug the hole with his REMARKABLE Atlantean skill!" I swear that guy was making fun of us for watching.

From: Dustin

Age: 17
04-Nov-99 12:19 PM

This is the funniest site I have ever seen. I am telling all of my friends to check it out. My favorite part is the 20 worst NES games of all time. I laughed so hard, everyone else in the computer lab was staring at me. And the worst part of it is, I have played most of those games, so I know how much they suck. I was wondering why you chose not to rip on some other games (i.e. Taboo: The Sixth Sense, Gyromite, John Elway's Quaterback Club), but your selection was more than adequate. On the game reviews, I loved the added touches of other characters as commentators. Don Flamenco's little dance was very sexy. Keep the NES reviews coming!!
Dustin

A lot of people ask me why I don't make fun of specific games, and I still don't know why. I haven't checked it for a few weeks, but I'm pretty sure I wrote an article about every single Nintendo game ever made. If I haven't, don't worry. Doctors have given me 72 years to live - I should have it finished by then.

	Monkey.
	The Bitch slapping Page.
	21
	Cake and chair's essay. Heh.
	Just looking around at your comics page and realized something. Cannonball pisses me off almost as much as aquaman. Fucking nonce. " Ahh mistah wolverine don't be mad, please don't be mad." Hopefully he'll remember and rip his tits off. I mean SUUURRRRREEEE he can beat Gladiator, and OF COURSE he can slam wolverine into a wall, and Naturally that fruity little pony tail he had for a while didn't make me want to go postal, but hey. As I pointed out with the glitterboy throwing rocks thing, why the hell can't comics get a bit more realism? ( Fuck, maybe because they're make believe.) Anyway. When Chris Claremont was in charge,the X-Men spent more time getting the shit kicked out of them by the Reavers, The Hellfire club, Nimrod, or anyone else who happened to look their way. Wolverine give Phoenix a good clawing through the chest and they were just so damn...funky. Now, fuck. They're the top forty of comics. Bring back the grunge to the X-men! After all, they have a whole bunch of new characters they can bump off. Starting with Gambit unless he gets his act together. I mean all this world shaking shit is pissing me off. The reavers were a real threat, being as how most of the X-Men aren't bulletproof. Fuck. Ohh, I like the improvements to your page, and that wacky luxembourgian is definitely on drugs. But that's not a bad thing. -Slexy baby. And that's my nick name as well! I thought of starting a home page called Slexybaby's homepage, but realised it would be full of Jackie Chan versus Jet Li debates and whether velvet flairs or gold lycra are better for ninja activities. Unfourtunately for me, a guy called me slexybaby and not a girl. Perhaps when my hair goes to electric blue.....

"I hate the X-men in more ways than I can calculate on my Speak n' Math. The only reason I ever read them was because Wolverine was so cutting edge when I was 11, I felt like I was 12. And, of course, Rogue's tits. I still simulate sex with her by dressing up a mannequin in a skunk striped wig, taking down my pants, and knocking myself out with a stick just as my crotch makes contact with the wooden fantasy girl."

	Peter O'Shealey
	19
	Bloodsport
	I do agree that the guy who talked about bricks and shits and tricks and stuff was a very important factor in this movie, however, how can anyone leave out the details on the two "trained" army officers who couldn't catch a cold, or most excellent battle between Van Damme and the "Nerds" guy on the video game...i mean, everyone knows that an essential part of one's training is to master the art of the two control video games!

"I think the script could have been nicer to those guys chasing Jean Claude, yeah. They had trouble eating, running, and talking. Even if Frank Dux was just some guy that was good at Karate Champ, they still probably couldn't catch him. The army should have just sent two girl scouts with a bloodhound."

	Bob Holly
	27
	the whole damn thing!!!
	boy, i'll yell what...this is one of the funniest, most original pages i have been to in a long time. Super Friends..damn funny (poor aquaman)...NES...Damn funny (poor Kin Korn Karn)...Movies page...damn funny (poor chango)...keep up the good damn funny work!

"Kin Korn Karn and Aqua Man just made an anti-Seanbaby Page. Mostly it was pictures from my middle school yearbook they had drawn moustaches on. Then Kin Korn would write things under them like, "Of great stupid is me!" And Aqua Man's contribution was a pretty fish background. They sent me an email saying, "It you turn now!" Anyway, the page was deemed inappropriate under the 1997 Lame Telecommunication Act, and was deleted by the webmaster."

	Alexander
	Toaster Thief
	Quince
	The NES section
	How long did it take you to put together this page? I mean, what with all of these images, rants, and the bitchin' layout, you musta been hard at work for quite a while. Either that, or you've signed on a team of dyslexic baboons to do the work for you. Regardless of how it got here, your page is one of the top reasons to not gouge out your own eyes. Kudos to you Seanbaby, may you never give birth to a flaming porcupine.

"It depends. Some of the ones that sound like I was typing as fast as I could about whatever popped into my head are exactly that. Then there are pages like the NES Page that took an entire childhood of research, and the Hostess Page that involved hundreds of dollars and days of searching through dingy comic shops that smell of unwashed nerd and my own puddle of warm excitement."

	Dave
	a real piece of crap; no, really!
	ran out of fingers
	this one; lots of neat little boxes & stuff
	I was sent your "stupid page" through icq and in a fit of sleep-deprivation enhanced idiocy, followed the link. While your trashing of Christians, KKK members, gay-bashing, and the rodeo was all amusing, aren't they just a tad bit easy?? You should move on to bigger challenges, like, I don't know, bunnies & butterflies and cute little puppy dogs with big blinking eyes....perhaps you should also include a warning not to sign your guestbook at 3AM on January 2nd when you've slept a total of 1 hour since December 30th. Yeah, definitely a good idea. So anyway, I didn't find anything particularly innovative nor interesting on the stupid page, so I surfed around the rest of your site for awhile to see if there was anything cool there....took a break to watch some star trek....read the bible....cured a guy who said he was straight, but you know, you could tell just by looking that he was gay....roped a few buckin' broncs, and then came back to the computer and decided to just keep typing nonsense into your guestbook until I literally fall asleep on my keyboard. Oh, I scratched myself a couple times too; it was good. And blew my nose. Smoked a couple cigarettes. Bored the piss out of you. Dammit, there was a point here somewhere, maybe under the country music cd's....ah, there it is! Cool page; maybe one day mine will grow up to be just like it, but without the spandex.

"When you restated the obvious point already mentioned by myself on the exact page you're describing that most of the subjects on the Stupid Page are easy targets for ridicule, you brought up an important issue. The fact is that finding hard targets would be harder, and as long as writing this homepage makes me no money and is just some crap I do when I run out of crotch oil, I probably won't care much."

	Jubbles Mink
	What?
	Oh okay.
	Hi! I just looked over your shiny new "About Me" page and I just got to say that you have the most amazing crotch I have ever seen! How ever did you get such a good area like that? Also, I like how you give everybody else the finger! Quite amusing.

"Two things were responsible for my 'amazing crotch.' The first is my enormous penis. The second is the even more enormous bundle of clothing I jammed into the front of my pants."

	Dave Heckman
	20
	EVIL DEAD
	Hey man, this is a really cool evil dead site. I guess all I can say is I love all the movies, and hope they make a 4. Keep up the good work, and Ill keep checking it out. Later.....

"Making a fourth will be impossible, since Bruce is so busy with his other projects like, 'Mr. Waddle's Disney Adventure,' 'Bit Part in Shitty Movie,' and 'Hiding.'"

	Jonathan Weidert
	Crazy Weidert's Bicycle Stand
	18
	It was a tie between the Mega Man Bosses Page and the Lis Page
	First off, this page makes me laugh, especially when I turn on my monitor. Second, what do you do with the Super Hero Quiz entries? I sent one in last week, and I was just curious where that little thing is making its home. Also, how much time do you spend updating this fucker? I mean, with everything you've got on here, not to mention the guestbook comments, it must take a helluva lotta time to be this damn funny. Hmmmm, this guestbook entry is kinda serious, but I'm sure you'll think of some witty comment to spice it up. Take it easy. PS - don't go to my homepage

"I have all the quiz entries saved in a special directory labeled "Never open." Someday I'll post a few on the page, but there are about 500 things that take precedence. Maybe if people gave quiz answers besides 'My powers are super sarcasm like you seanabby! My skills are being bissed pimp motha fucka in all of suburbian Ohio. word, homes. peace out.' As for time spent updating, answering the guestbook is about 12 seconds out of my day. And it doesn't take a bottle of ginkgo biloba to get the cerebral state required to scan a fruit pie ad and leave the room. If you see more than 5 updates in the What's New page, then yeah, I put an hour or two in. Otherwise, I probably spent 15 minutes typing at the computer in between Bible study and breathing hard at randomly dialed phone numbers."

�NES & EGM�    �Kick to the Groin�    �Super Friends�    �Hostess Fruit Pies�
�Absoludicrous Video�    �Stupid Comic Ads�    �Classic�

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