Part 11: E3 to the MAX
While searching for the exit, Mark looks up the skirt of Scotland's version of a sexy spokesperson. Mark's not gay, he's just looking for the penis that killed his father.

"See if you can find anything for me to eat in there!" says the fat chick in front of him.

Seanbaby: "I'm going to go dance with my new wife. Which one did I marry again?"

Gary Coleman: "Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one, Seanbaby!"

Seanbaby: "I'm serious, Gary. Once chicks get hot and blonde enough, I have trouble telling them apart."

Gary: "Chicks don't have names, freak hair. I call those ladies lunch and dinner."

Seanbaby: "You're the fucking man, Gary."


One of the girls asks nicely to look at Sean's ass. He obliges, since it's a 50/50 chance that it's his wife.


Meanwhile, Seanbaby carries his new bride across the threshold right next to the Spider Man video game and the one about the monkeys in samurai helmets. His best man, a guy dressed up like the chick from Tomb Raider, draws a gun in case someone tries to play Chicken Dance or Macarena at the reception.

Sean's a functional alcoholic. After his morning keg stands he can still walk, dance, get married, and remember to comment on the dandruff falling off the heads of video game developers. He's not like Chet who thinks a good drink is only for him and the hotel toilet to enjoy together. Speaking of Chet...

he was busy moving from the hotel bed to the toilet. That pattern on the wall is what interior decorators call "Darth Vader Torture Chamber" since it makes you puke in terror even if you haven't been poisoning yourself with UGO's free liquor.

Back to E3: We thought Sean's marriage was funny, and we would have been there throwing rice if we weren't either stuck in a maze of shitty foreign booths or rolling in our own filth in a hotel bed, but we're pretty sure if Sean was sober he would have at least called his girlfriend before he married some chick in a bikini that Gary Coleman introduced him to.

Seanbaby: "People always get together for the wrong reasons, beautiful bikini girl. Why can't we make a marriage work based on impulsiveness, physical attraction, and Gary Coleman?"

Becky: "Really? Does this mean... are you?"

Seanbaby: "Yes. I really mean it. Marry me, Becky."

Becky ??????: "My name's not Becky, parrot head."

Seanbaby: "Are you going to talk this much during the honeymoon?"

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