Part 18: Beauty and the Beauty Sean: "What do you dream about, hot girl?" Hot Girl: "I've always wanted to be a ballerina. What makes you happy?" SB: "Lots of things, hot girl, but every day I specifically thank God for Gary Coleman." HG: "Aren't you an atheist?" SB: "Yeah, I guess, but that's a stupid name. What kind of a fucking ego do Christians need to have to give a special name to people who aren't them? It's stupid. Military people do it too. They call people without guns 'civilians.' No normal people do that shit. Autoracers don't feel the need to come up with some cute name for people that aren't autoracers. You know, besides 'literate.'" HG: "Right, I'm from New York, and we don't feel the need to come up with names for people who aren't us. It's a waste of time. We should be spending our time giving names to shit that still need them like that white fluid that comes out of deaf people's ears or that sex position where the girl's feet are on the guy's shoulder." SB: "Yeah, even Gary Coleman hasn't come up with a special name to call people that aren't him." HG: "Yes he has, Seanbaby. Mortals. He calls us mortals." SB: "Holy shit. That was the most amazing thing anyone who wasn't Gary Coleman has ever said. As long as I'm around, you're never paying for another drink." HG: "Giggle!" Next

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